Sincerely Hermione Granger
by cheekybby
Summary: Live journal 10 letters challenge.Hermione Granger wrote a series of letters during her Hogwarts years and during the war. This is what she hid. Includes, her parents, Weasleys and friends. A side to Hermione, not often uncovered.
1. Dear Victor

Written for a 10 letters live journal challenge where 10 prompts are followed to write 10 different letters. The prompt for this letter to reject. I love feedback. ^_^ The next letter should be up within the week.

Dear Victor,

I hope this letter finds you well and healthy. I realise that with the tournament your fame will have increased even more. More than you could have expected it to. I'm sure you can cope with the increase in fan girls Victor, you have before and you will in the future though your dismay makes me laugh. My heart felt congratulations on your latest championship. Thank you for the pictures, the trophy really is a lovely piece of craftsmanship though I'm sure that means little to you. Try not to drink too much champagne.

I have written before and I hope that one day I will again but this letter, this letter that caused my heart to ache just so as I wrote it, may have to be my loving last for some time.

In Bulgaria I realise that you may be somewhat shielded from the horrors that develop a little more every day in Britain. I fear that mere words cannot convey what we face each day. As you know the Dark Lord has returned and he grows stronger each day, no matter how much people try to deny it. We take little comfort from our new Minister and the government's changes in policies. They have come too little too late and many of us fear that it is only a matter of time before the government collapses entirely.

I have seen the bloodshed of war Victor. It is not how they portray it in the stories. The headmaster is dead and I fear the hope of thousands dies with him. Darkness loom over Britain and it grows darker every day. People are dying and disappearing, everyone who remembers says it is just like before.

I cannot stand aside and let this happen Victor as I am sure you understand. To read every morning about women and children being murdered by this monster while I am safe in my bed just kills me. I have to do something and I am sure you can figure out who I will follow until the end, no matter the outcome. This moment was what we spend our lives training for, the moment where we can use our magic to make a difference. I remember you speaking of your family and the losses you suffered and I know you will understand.

I would be a liar if I told you I was not afraid because in truth I am terrified. I am terrified I will go to sleep one evening and never wake up, I am terrified that one of my friends faces will be the one on the front page of the paper during the summer and I am terrified that we could lose this war.

I try to be optimistic but really, where can we find optimism? We were victorious before yet here we are again, preparing to face the same monster. Once again grown wizards fear their own shadows and children can no longer play in the street. The funeral broke my heart Victor, truly it did because there were people there that knew the headmaster but didn't truly _know_ the headmaster. They did not love him, they loved the idea of him and it makes a person wonder, what do we truly leave behind when we are gone?

I have so many thoughts running through my head that they hardly make sense. This letter hardly makes sense, the world doesn't make any sense and I hate it. There is no book for this, there are no answers in the library and I fear that out there, out there in the real world, I won't cope. That when I am faced with real foes that I won't know how to cope because they won't follow the rules Victor, they will just try to kill me and nothing about books or cleverness will save me then. Luck, nothing more and nothing less saved me when I faced them last year and still we lost one of our own, this year, literally luck saved us and we lost the greatest of us all. It doesn't make our situation look any better. I can't see the silver lining in all of this.

Society is cruel my friend. One minute they will love you and the next they will hate you. Last year they wanted to burn Harry at the stake for what they saw as his crimes and now, now they expect him to save them, save the world and when you look at what this life has given him, you wonder why he would want to. What has it ever given him? I confess to you and you alone that if it were me, I don't know if I would have the nobility to fight for them. I fear I would run and hide and prey I was never found.

Is that wrong?

Does that make me an evil person? Am I no better than those I fight to stop?

I don't know the answer to that either and that scares me more. I have read books, more books than I could name from people who walked this earth hundreds of years ago, books about strategy, planning and duelling and still I feel no confidence. I cannot write of what I will have to learn of to end this war but it makes me sick and causes me to doubt the human race. What we are capable of could turn your stomach though attending your school, I am sure you are fully aware.

The final point to this letter, and that which I should have make clear at the beginning is this. I cannot write to you any longer. If I survive this war it could be years before I can write again. Rumour says you could be at the Weasley wedding and if so, I hope I see you there but this letter must be written in either case, before it is too late.

I am going to war Victor, I stare my own mortality in the face each time I wake up and I know I will be a target until I am either victorious or dead. I write to you to tell you not to wait for me. Do not deny that a part of you still holds hope. I know you care for me and that truly means the world but I cannot ask you to wait for something that can never happen. You will always hold a special place in my heart but this, this must be the end. The end of what we had, what we have and what can never be ours.

I can only ask one thing of you and that is that you move on and you live. Go out after your games, chat up women, drink too must fire whiskey and go home at silly hours of the morning.

Live now, because I cannot.

I hope that we will one day meet again and that in some way, whatever we may be to each other, you will one day show me the wonders of Bulgaria. I have read all about it's history and it sounds like a truly fascinating place.

Until then, I wish you all the best.

All my love,

Hermione

xxx

Sincerely


	2. Dear Ginny

AU: Using the prompt mortify. Hermione writes to Ginny in the summer before fifth year as she arrives at Headquarters before the Weasleys in my fic. She talks about her life as a muggleborn and tells Ginny about something she saw at headquarters that she really didn't want to.

Dear Ginny,

How are you? I hope you are enjoying your summer. I know you will be visiting soon and I look forward to your arrival. It's very lonely here and shall we say gloomy.

I feel really bad about not being able to write to Harry. I don't think he will be very happy and with his temperament, it could get nasty. I just hope that what we are doing is for his own benefit and not because we don't care. Really, it's because we do. He holds things in too much and I am going to have to say something to him. He needs to talk to us about what happened. I am glad I can write to you freely because Bill can bring you the letters, but I hate that I can't so the same for Harry. I have to wait until he arrives here and when he does I recon he will be too concerned with his godfather to listen to what I have to say. Sometimes he really frustrates me.

My mum doesn't understand why I have to be here. How am I supposed to explain? I don't tell them what happens at school and because I have muggle parents, they didn't even know about what happened in my second year. No one ever told them and I didn't want to talk about it. You are the only person I have ever told about it.

They don't know that a war is brewing and I honestly don't want to tell them so now, they think I am just being selfish and trying to get out of a holiday. That hurts Gin because I thought they knew me better than that but it looks like they don't really know me at all. Sometimes I think they never have. I can't talk to them about school because they don't understand and really, they don't want to. They accept me for what I am but don't want to talk about it and I don't think that is very fair. I don't fit in at home and because I have muggle parents and I don't always fit in, in the magical world. It's like living on a fence and I hate it. Really I do. It's not fair and I wish it wasn't happening to me because I haven't done anything to deserve it have I?

That's not the point though. I heard about Percy from Remus. I know you never really got on with him that well but I'm still really sorry. I can't say I really understand because obviously I don't have any brothers but I suppose you have enough for the both of us.

Although that isn't really the point either. The point is that I saw something and it was completely mortifying! I knew you would want to know and I just need to tell someone or I'll blow up like one of the twin's fireworks.

I went along to the library, yes headquarters has a library, and I saw Sirius in there. I knew he was talking to someone so I didn't go in. I was being polite but I'm glad I didn't. The door was half open so I could see them but they couldn't see me if you understand me. Anyway, I waited and then Remus appeared and he pined Sirius to the wall! The wall! At first I thought they were just messing around. They are best friends after all but I was still shocked.

Then it got even, well you would say better, because Remus kissed Sirius and I don't mean a peck on the cheek. This was like something out of a bad romance novel. They were completely devouring each other, groping at each other shamelessly and the sounds coming from Sirius when Remus licked his neck. I have never seen or heard anything like it and in a library too! It was completely inappropriate. Imagine if anyone else would have seen. Can you imagine if Harry knew? I never even suspected that they were together or that either of them were even gay but I tell you now Ginny Weasley, what I saw put that to rest. Gay indeed.

Don't tell anyone will you? Especially not Ronald.

I don't know if they saw me or not. I ran when I did see them and I don't know if I made a noise and I haven't seen either of them since. It was mortifying. God, Remus was my teacher Ginny and Sirius is Harry's godfather!

It makes me nervous. I don't know what I might come across anymore. I can't wait until you and your family arrive. I know you probably want to know all about it. You would want to see my memories if you could manage it which is possibly I'll have you know. I read a book about it but I can explain that later.

I still can't believe what I saw, Sirius and Remus! Honestly. I can't tell Harry. It's not my place but I really want to. He deserves to know. I hope that Sirius will tell him when he is here because it's a big part of his life to hide.

Well, I hope you all arrive soon. Remember to keep your wand on you at all times! It's not safe out there anymore.

All my love,

Hermione

p.s. Yes, it was hot to see.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Letter three, Hermione writes to Harry after fifth year and tries to get through to him before he is brought to the burrow. I wrote this to the prompt 'problem' in regards to Harry and the way he shut his friends out.

Dear Harry,

I hope you are feeling better.

In reply to your last letter, I do not believe for a single moment that you are 'fine' in regards to your godfathers death. Harry, it will not help you to bottle up your emotions like this! You wouldn't talk at school and I left you because Ron said you needed time but you need to move forward. You need to talk to someone, release your emotions and don't let them consume you! Your magic for one, could be adversely effective and considering your muggle relatives it is imperative that you get your emotions under control so that you are not a danger to them or more importantly to yourself!

We are all worried about you Harry. You can't shut us out. We want to be here for you, to support you but we can't do that if you don't let us. Grief happens in stages Harry. I have read all about it and I will be more than willing to lend you a book if you like. You can't do this alone, you should have support!

Surely, you must realise that his death was not your fault?! Sirius would want you to be happy, to move on. You moping around being depressed would be the last thing he would want for you. You can only take this as a new motivation, to make sure that _we _do not fall into the same trap again. If this is your future then we have to make sure we are suitably prepared for it. War, that is. I have purchased many new textbooks from various sources that will be able to help further prepare us. Once we get back to school and I can get back into the school library, obviously it will be better but for now, I have to make do. I will be honest, my sides still ache from where I was cursed and I still have to take potions but it could have been a lot worse. I'm just glad we all made it out alive. Taking out all those death eaters? Not bad for a bunch of school kids is it?

Again, if you would like to see the book on grieving then all you have to do is ask.

You don't have to worry about going back to headquarters. I heard Mrs Weasley talking about it and the order believes that it may have been compromised.

Have you seen the leaflets the ministry are circulating? To be honest, I don't think they are really sufficient. I wrote to the defence ministry to tell them what I thought about them but I didn't get a reply. Your teachings from last year were far more helpful and it they could even circulate half of that information then it would be better than those rags that are a waste of parchment but I guess it's better than nothing isn't it? I tried to speak to Ron about it but he didn't really seem to be paying any attention. Of course Ginny agrees with me. They are not enough but I think she is more wrapped up in Dean and what Ron has to say about it.

Honestly, how can they think that sort of thing is important at a time like this?

Are you worried about your O.W.L scores? I do hope we get them soon. I am simply bubbling with excitement to know what I got. These results are some of the most important results we will ever get! What classes we take next year depend on these and that's not even getting into careers!

What classes are you thinking of taking? Providing you get the right results of course. Ron hasn't even thought about it which doesn't even surprise me anymore. Ron doesn't seem to plan much in advance does he?

I think Mrs Weasely is hoping that Ginny will get prefect this year but I'm sure Ginny is disgusted by the whole idea. Of course, being a prefect is a real honour but Ginny takes after Fred and George a little too much to handle it I think. What do you think?

I think you will be moved soon. Before your birthday for sure. I know where you will be, but obviously I can't tell you in a letter. Stay strong Harry and remember your friends. We care about you and we want to help you.

All my love,

Hermione

**********************

Reviews are love and it helps me build this series forward.


	4. Dear Ronald

**This instalment is written using the prompts difference. Vague to the prompt but it's still there. The difference now that the Dark Lord is in the open after fifth year ect. **

**Dear Ronald**

**How are things at the Burrow? I hope everyone is doing well. I suspect we can no longer return to Headquarters anymore because of the old pureblood laws. I have been reading what I can find and it seems that Bellatrix could perhaps gain access to the house after Sirius' death because she will be the next Black family heir. I assume that the headmaster will take care of things but it helps to be prepared. **

**Have you been able to learn anything at home? What about Ginny? Don't be surprised I'm telling you to break the rules Ronald, we are at war here, needs must. I read your last letter so I know you can try to find out some things. **

**I have written Harry a few letters but he isn't really responding and certainly not to my point. I suppose you are right, maybe we should back off. It's just that he doesn't open up much and I don't want him to bottle things up. It won't help anyone and, well you were there the last time Harry's emotions got the better of him.**

**How is your head? Have you recovered completely from your injuries? Are there any side affects? If there are I can try find some more information for you. It's not a problem. My side still hurts. I still have many potions to take each day but it's getting better and when you think of how many Death Eaters were there, we got lucky. It's a miracle we lasted as long as we did without the Order. It just shows you how much we learned with Harry.**

**I suppose you will have received the defence leaflets the Ministry sent out? A load of nonsense if you ask me. Though I wonder why we didn't learn about Inferni before our exams. Even just to run rather than fight. They seem dangerous and the stuff I have managed to read on the matter has been truly ghastly. Overall though, the leaflets are useless. It's just common sense isn't it? I would like to meet the people in charge because they are going to lead people to their death not save them!**

**You would think after allowing the Dark Lord into their own Ministry and not realising it until he had destroyed priceless artefacts and duelled the headmaster, that they would take things a little more seriously.**

**Yet, things are so different now aren't they? Really different. This last year has been like living in some sort of bubble, playing a waiting game and waiting for the bomb to go off. We knew he was out there but so few believed and he stayed quiet and hidden while more of his followers escaped and returned to his side. **

**Now everything has changed. Everyone knows, he is in the open and people are being murdered Ronald! I read about Madam Bones! She was one of the strongest witches the ministry had and she was just picked off. You said in your last letter that the headmaster was going to get Harry from his home. That would never have even been considered if the situation wasn't to grave. **

**When we get back to school we must try and keep Harry out of trouble! He always ends up in some sort of scheme or plot and we can't let that happen this year. It's different! There is a difference between fighting a basilisk and walking into the path of the Dark Lord! A difference that could cost Harry his life. I bet the Dark Lord wants to get his hands on Harry, he has been trying for years. He will be waiting on Harry to make another mistake like he did with Sirius and we must make sure we are there for Harry, watching him and distracting him. Leave the war to the Order. Until there is no other option, we cannot allow this to become a war fought by children, because Ronald, I don't know if we could win. **

**Do you think your dad will have any books on the inner working of the ministry? I think that would be fascinating because the way they are behaving now is odd to say the least.**

**Hope you are well.**

**Hermione**


	5. Dear Mum and Dad

AN: As I have said, for the LJ challenge community 10 letters. The prompt here is 'irritation' which I hope is an undercurrent in this letter from Hermione to her parents. This is just something I imagine she would have written at some point. You can decide whether they ever received it or not. ^_^

June 20th 1997

Dear mum and dad

I don't know if I will ever allow you to read this letter but I think , for myself, I need to write it anyway.

I haven't been totally honest with you all these years at Hogwarts. I kept secrets and omitted details I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have because now I don't think you could begin to understand what's happening or why and what I have to do about it. I was terrified that if you knew I wouldn't be allowed to go back to school. Hogwarts is the only place where I have ever felt like I fitted in and even then I was on the outside.

I hope that one day you will understand why. I can only break each year down and explain every event. Tell you everything in this letter that I should have told you before.

I said I got on with the other girl's in my dorm but I lied. When I first arrived at Hogwarts I was afraid I might be sent home if I wasn't the best or didn't follow all the rules so I followed every rule to a tee and if anyone broke them I told a teacher. People hated me for it and I had no friends, no one to talk to. People thought I was just a bushy haired know-it-all. Then Halloween came. That was the first big incident of my magical life and I didn't tell you. I was so afraid. A teacher who was working for the Dark Lord let a troll into the castle and it ended up trapping me in the bathroom. I was terrified and I thought I was going to die. Then Harry and Ron came, just as it was about to crush me with it's club. They distracted it but I couldn't move. Harry jumped on it and Ron ended up knocking it out with it's own club in the end. That was one of the best and worse moments of my life. I saw my life flash before my eyes for the first time but I also made my first real friends. I just never realised how much more was to come.

Later that year Harry, Ron and I had to get passed a three headed dog, killer plants, deadly potions and Harry had to face the Dark Lord again who wanted to kill him. He barely survived and was in a coma for days. I told you the story of the boy who lived before I went to school but could you honestly say that if I told you how close he came to dying that you would of let me speak to him again? To return to Hogwarts when you knew about the other schools? I couldn't risk it!

So many times over that summer I thought about telling you but you could never understand! To you trolls are just something that little children are scared of. Characters in fairy tails and nothing that could harm you, not something that could have killed me a month into the school terms. If I told you about the Dark Lord you would have said that I should have told an adult and would not have understood that we tried. It was so infuriating because at twelve years old I was hiding half of who I was. I am a know-it-all, I know it and so does everyone else but I am so much more than that. I'm fighting a war and by second year, perhaps I should have realised that the evil was coming.

You never knew about what happened that year. The year of the chamber of secrets. I lost months of my life to that chamber, to the Dark Lord and came so close to death that it gave me nightmares all summer but still I refused to tell you, even more afraid of the consequences than before. While writing this I think that I'm only telling you know because I'm in too deep for you to do anything about it. The chamber of secrets was a Hogwarts legend. No one truly believed it existed and if they did, they never believe it would be found.

The short version is that the chamber could only be opened by someone who could speak a rare language that passed through a bloodline to the Dark Lord and because of old magic, Harry. The Dark Lord possessed a student and used them to open the chamber and unleash a giant snake that can kill if you look directly into it's eyes and completely paralyse you if you see it's gaze in a reflection. I was paralysed. Harry went to the chamber, saved the student by killing the thirty feet snake and destroying the link between the Dark Lord and the student but I was unconscious for months. Because I have non-magical parents they didn't tell you any of this but I think that, you have to know. I need to tell you because, their may not be a later for me to say.

Sirius escaped the summer before third year and that was one of the most terrifying years of my school life. We thought he betrayed Harry's parents and caused their deaths. We lived in fear that he would try to kill Harry. We lived with soul sucking creatures guarding the school that could make you feel like you could never be happy again. It was torture. I ran myself ragged by using a device that allowed me to go back in time each and every day to take every class offered and I came so close to destroying myself but I never said anything. I nearly lost my friends because of it but I still didn't talk to you. By then, how could I possibly confess?

In our fourth year things got, if they could, even worse. A tournament was held at Hogwarts for three schools. The champions were supposed to be adults, capable and fully trained in magic but that wasn't what happened. Harry was a champion because a follower of the Dark Lord called a death eater bewitched the cup that chose the champions. A death eater was at Hogwarts. All year we were taught by a man impersonating another, a murderer. Ironically, he was fascinating and I think he was the best teacher we ever had. I found it hard to think that he was a killer. It took me a long time to get over.

In the end Harry won the tournament but there was a terrible price. A student, Cedric Diggory, was murdered. Murdered by the Dark Lord who used terrible, evil, dark magic to, the best way I can explain it is, bring himself back from the dead. Harry fought him and lived again, something only a handful of people have done, at fourteen years old. By this point, there was no way I could tell you. I couldn't explain what my world had become and I knew from then that you could never really understand.

Yet you must of realised how terrified I was. How could not have seen it? Did you pay that little attention to me that you couldn't see that I was slowly falling apart before your eyes? I told you I had to leave early. I explained to you that there was a danger and had to return to my world yet still you accused me of trying to escape a holiday! You can never understand just how much that hurt me! As my parents, I shouldn't have had to come to you, you should have known I needed you! It's your job!

My fifth year was quite possibly hell on earth. I can't speak of what happened that summer, safe to say people were moving against the Dark Lord but the ministry refused to believe he had returned. They imposed their will at the school and we hardly learned a thing in defensive magic. In the end Harry, at fifteen years old, was forced to teach us magic illegally. Harry had terrible visions of what the Dark Lord was doing and was made to believe that his godfather was being held captive by him at the ministry of magic. What choice did we have? We went to try save him and instead walked straight into a ambush. Six students against countless death eaters and in the end it was us that needed rescued. When it was over, Harry had fought him again but Sirius had been murdered by his own cousin. Just because one believed in blood purity and one did not. The exams didn't seem so important after that though I still worried over them to the point where I almost made myself ill.

I came home injured that year. I fought in a battle at sixteen and I nearly died. If I moved a second later, moved an inch in the wrong direction I was dead. I still have the scars. I was on potions for weeks but still you asked me nothing! It was like you just didn't care though I heard you at night, wondering what happened and talking things through when you thought I was asleep. What answers did you think you would find doing that?

By sixth year I had everything you wanted me to have, perfect grades. It was just that a war was brewing behind the scenes. By that point if you didn't realise it then you must have been blind. I could hardly spend any time with you at all before I was hidden behind wards and magical defences. I went to school thinking that the year couldn't possibly end in as bad a way as it had the year before. Nine months later, the headmaster is dead and here we are.

Again I can tell you nothing of what I have to do. There is a way to defeat the Dark Lord and break his hold over immortality but it's dangerous and it's deadly. I guess that's why I am finally confessing everything I can. I might not come home again. I could be dead next week. I am terrified, for myself, for you, my friends and my world but I can't sit back and do nothing! Not after everything I have been through. Not when the fact that I don't have magical parents is enough for the Dark Lord to want me dead. I'm not a coward and I refuse to run and hide. You didn't raise me that way.

To protect you I am going to do something I swore I would never do and that is use magic on you. I am going to alter your memories so that I can send to Australia and you can live happily, with no memory of Hermione Granger, without being in danger to yourself or anyone else.

Makes this letter a bit stupid because you won't understand it anyway! I didn't even write everything down anyway. There are so many more things that happened, so many things I can't tell you but want you to know. I hope that one day, one day soon I can come get you from Australia and tell you everything properly but until then.

I love you.

I love you but I heard you say that I never tell you anything.

Did you ever think to just ask?

I guess not but it's too late for any of that isn't it?

Your loving daughter,

Sincerely

Hermione Granger

***

Reviews are wonderful. I am trying to think who she can write to next.


	6. Dear Hermione

I know that a lot of people heading off the war in the old days used to write letters to themselves so that when they came back they could remember who they were and reflect on how they had changed as people so I thought it fitting to do a similar thing with Hermione. She seems like a very level headed person in the books but I am sure even she had her moments where it was almost too much. This is my take on how she coped with it. The prompt if you will, for this is 'reflection'

July 4th 1997

Dear Hermione

Firstly I suppose the question is, why am I writing a letter to myself? Many reasons I suppose. I was never a girl who wrote in a diary, certainly not after second year but I had always been that way. I saw no point in writing down what I thought when I could work it out rationally in my head. Yet you know that.

I hope that I survive what is to come and that many years from now I can read it and look back on everything that will happen with a smile on my face. Though I know it's not rational or realistic, I hope we all survive this war. Because that is what it is. War. There is nothing nice of forgiving about it. That becomes more obvious everyday. There is no right way to do this. Things like house points seem so irrelevant now. The sorting hat always said we had to get past house rivalries. It seems it was right. Evil doesn't care if you were a Puff or a Claw.

If I read this in ten years time I would be twenty seven years old. What will I have in life? Who will still stand beside me? What will I have lost by the time you, I, read this?

Was it worth it?

I look back on six years of school knowing that next year it may not open it's doors, that is could be destroyed as some sort of sick trophy for the Dark Lord. What will you look back on? Will there be anything left?

I remember the toll and the potions, the three headed dog and the giant chess set and at the time I thought it was awful, that nothing could ever be that bad again and then next year I was petrified and again Hogwarts nearly fell. Will you look back on my time now, at seventeen, and wonder why it can't be that simple again? Is it only going to get worse?

Is there anything to fight for?

Harry is falling apart. I know he pretends he is fine but he is not. I know he is not. I can see the pain in his eyes. It's always been there but now it never leaves and that breaks my heart because though he is in pain now, I know that even if I do everything in my power, he may not live to see you read this. I may not live long enough to re-discover it.

No one wants to say it but it's really only a matter of time before the ministry falls. It can't cope and everyone knows, they are just to afraid to admit it. It's funny, the things you take for granted. Yes, it was dysfunctional, and flawed, but it was still there. They still did something, they still tried to keep harmony over out world and now it teeters so close on disaster that I can hardly bear to read the newspaper anymore.

I'm going to alter my parents memories tomorrow. You must remember how hard it was, how guilty I feel. I wrote them a letter too. Do I find the courage to give it to them? I wonder if they will be safe. Thousands of miles away with no idea I exist. Is that enough to save them? I suppose if the Death Eaters really want them to use against me then they will find them. Do they make it? Do they ever forgive me for what I must do just to give them a chance to survive?

Even if we do survive, what waits for us? Does the wizarding world survive or will it crumble under the strain? Will people I know made it? The Weasleys, Padme and Parvati, Dean, Neville or Luna? Will we get out of it unscarred or will others suffer Bill's fate?

Looking back the arguments with Ron, the saga with Harry and Fudge, the endless worry over exam results. It all seems so trivial now. It's like you don't appreciate things properly until you lose something that really matters and we are just realising it. That scares me to because it makes me think of what I surely still have to lose. My prefect badge or near straight O's are not going to protect me from Death Eaters. That much, I can see.

Perhaps I will look back in ten years and think that this letter was trivial and pointless, chastise myself over having better things to do and honestly, I hope that day comes, because at least that means that there will be a future for me to feel that way.

Sincerely

Hermione Granger


	7. Dear Neville

_**Prompt: scream**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing, I make no profit, this is pure Fiction.**_

_**Reviews are cherished. **_

_**Dear Neville**_

_**I hope you are well.**_

_**You may be wondering why I'm writing to you when I haven't in the five nearly six years we have known each other. You would be right to wonder. I can hardly explain myself. I could scream for everything that seems so pointless now we have seen what's really out there. Demons in the dark we are not ready to fight and I'm ashamed to say, I never expected that if I did face those demons, it would be by your side.**_

_**Harry taught us well. He taught us more than what is in books, more what's really out there. I guess this letter is to apologise. I underestimated you Neville. I'll admit that. I underestimated what you were capable of and that was a grave mistake because I know you saved my life.**_

_**I felt worthless after the Ministry battle. Years of burying myself in books and I was one of the first to fall, one of the first to fail. I guess the point of this is, I want to thank you Neville. I want to thank you for saving my life. I want to thank you for coming with us when it really didn't involve you. I want to thank you for trusting us enough to join the DA in the first place. I want to thank you for helping Harry with the second task in Fourth year. I want to thank you for being there for Harry to the bitter end. I want to thank you for everything you have done for us over the years that we or I, haven't taken the time to thank you for before. **_

_**Have you been able to get a new wand? I should expect that if you do it will work better than the wand you had because it will be meant for you. I hope your grandmother wasn't too upset about it. I expect she will be very proud of what you achieved, as we all are Neville. **_

_**Forgive me for sharing my fears through a letter but I don't know who else I can tell that would understand and not judge me. I fear if I don't tell someone I'll scream, cry and break down. **_

_**When I saw that curse coming towards me, that horrifying purple light, I thought I was going to die. I saw my life flash before my eyes as it came closer. I couldn't move. I just stood there ad waited for death. My supposed Gryffindor courage failed me totally. The thing is, I know a shield that could have blocked it. I could have moved. I knew it all, I had learned it but the knowledge wasn't enough. Everything Harry had told us all year about it not being about memorising spells and throwing them at them and all I can think about now is that he was right and I was wrong and I failed! I'm afraid we won't all make it through this conflict. We are still children. Are we not too young to die? This shouldn't be our war to fight yet it could end up claiming our lives. There is no justice in that and I feel like I want to just scream and shout that it's not fair. **_

_**I guess I just want to thank you for being there Neville, for everything you did before and after I was hit and say that I am very proud to call you my friend Neville Longbottom and even prouder to fight side by side with you.**_

_**Sincerely, your friend**_

_**Hermione Granger**_


	8. Dear Mrs Weasley

This letter is written to the prompt risk.

The trio is waiting to break into Gringotts and Hermione writes a letter to Mrs Weasley that she cant ever risk sending. This is what she would have wanted to say.

Disclaimer: Does it look like this is mine? All property of the genius JK Rowling. I just play.

April 17th 1998

Dear Mrs Weasley

This is me, writing a letter I can never send you, but which I know you are longing for. The risk is too great, to all of us. We know you are being watched, you're every move scrutinized and we fear, I fear, that if we send this letter, this one piece of parchment that could reassure you and let you know everything is ok , that it could lead to our capture and that is something we just cannot risk. If we were to be captured, I fear we would not escape alive, so we must plunder on alone.

I am sure you are sick, fraught with fear over whether we are ok and that guilt eats away at Ron, Harry and myself a little more every day. I never expected that the wedding would leave us running for our lives and fighting with death eaters. We were so glad to hear you were all ok. I can't put into words the relief we all felt. Though I never expected it, I made sure I was prepared for it. Though you won't know until it ends either way, we are prepared, we have supplies and plans and we are not jumping into this blind.

The research has been done and though you wish we were, we are no longer children. This is our fight, for our future and we don't plan to fail. There is too much at stake. Especially for me. Failure is not an option. The nights in the freezing cold, taking turn in guarding evil, fearing every rustle of leaves outside our camp and keeping watch has to be worth it, because we can't face the idea that it's not. We eat and drink fine and so far, have mostly avoided any trouble. Our minds play tricks on us. Tell us things are there when they are not. The things we have to deal with, the things we are trying to destroy, are terrifying and some times, our minds are our biggest danger, more dangerous than any death eater or catcher that could be on our tails.

I'm sure we would all give anything to be back at the burrow for a good home cooked meal, to be able to sit in the living room at the fire and heat our cold hands. We use warming charms all the time now yet still it seams we are always cold.

Everything seems so hard now. Simple things that we hardly thought about before drain our precious energy now and we bicker constantly. All three of us. There are reasons behind it. Some we can deal with and some we are forced to deal with but they are there, lurking between us like a barrier. It's almost a chore to try and hold our relationships together right now. Right now, they are all we have.

We catch snippets of the news over the wireless but sometimes I wish we didn't. Sometimes I think it would be better if we didn't know anything, so we couldn't be afraid, so we wouldn't know just how much more we risk by being in the open every day. Yet we also know that if we hide and avoid the risk by doing nothing, we will listen to that same wireless and hear more of our friends and acquaintances are dead.

Christmas was almost awful. The first for years that Harry and I didn't have your family around us, or that we didn't get to spend time with you, that Harry didn't open this jumper and I think that hurts him more than he admits. They mean so much to him. Things were not the same. It just made us think of everything we were forced to leave behind. At least Ron came back to us the next day and we figured out how to work the Deluminator. Rather, Ronald did. Though I maintain he would never have had to if he hadn't ran away like a coward in the first place. I still don't know for sure if you even knew he was with Bill those weeks he left Harry and I alone. Alone to literally face Voldemort by ourselves and nearly die in the process. I could have died with fear those long hours Harry lay sleeping. When it got really bad, I wasn't even sure he would ever wake up.

Our journey taught us how desperate people can become if you push them far enough. I always thought Mr Lovegood was a nice enough, if a little eccentric man. I never thought he would try and sell Harry to those leaches at the Ministry, though with Luna being held captive, him never sure if she was alive or dead, I can understand why he did it. We worry about Ginny at the school, Fred and George living in the dangers of Diagon Alley, of Bill in the order, everyone else we always thought would be ok.

I can't even begin to imagine what if must have been like for you, knowing your children were being pulled into a war they didn't start but had to win to preserve their future. When we learned of the jink on Voldemort's name, I thought it ironic. Clever too. I had spent so long, Harry had spent so long, trying to tell people that there was no risk in saying his name, that people couldn't win a war against him if they didn't at least try. Now that very thing could get you captured and most probably killed. It was like everything we knew was falling apart, like the world was spiralling out of control. When we entered the wizarding world, Harry and I were told that Gringotts and Hogwarts were the safest places in the world, or where the Headmaster Dumbledore was. The irony that when it mattered most and we needed safety, Dumbledore was dead, Hogwarts in the hands of death eaters and we sat in a huddle by the sea planning what seemed like an impossible break-in of Gringotts, with the help of a goblin of all things.

I don't know if we will survive this break in. Dragons, goblins and wizards with no conscious stand in our way and that's before we even get to Hogwarts. I know this will end, either way, at Hogwarts and in a way that's fitting. So much of our time in this world, certainly for Harry and I has been spent there. It's the one place Voldemort failed to capture before yet the place he overruns now. If this stand, will be our last, I will be proud to have it, fighting for the freedom of our school and our world.

If I thought I could send you this without putting everyone in danger I would but I can't and you will never see this. There is no point in you knowing what we had to go through if we die in the process, because that would only worsen your nightmares or if we live, because then there is no reason that you have to know what we went through to make it. You didn't want us in this war because it was a risk Mrs Weasley. Everything in this war torn world is now a risk, and unless we take this stand, that will not change. I only hope we survive it long enough to return to the Burrow and sit by the fire once more.

Sincerely,

Hermione Granger

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Reviews only take a few seconds and I would love to hear your opinions. Only two letters to go in the series.


	9. Dear Sirius

**This is the 9th**** letter out of ten so only one left and then everything is finished. **

**I own nothing at all. Everything is just a figment of my imagination and I make no profit whatsoever. **

**July 6****th**** 1996**

**Dear Sirius**

**I never really paid the attention to you when you were alive that you deserved. I took it for granted that you would be here whenever I needed you, whenever Harry needed you. I worry about him. He is taking your death very hard. In fact sometimes I think he is refusing to accept you are really gone. Sometimes I find it hard to accept you are really gone.**

**I didn't always agree with your opinions. I thought some of your ideas were rash and illogical but the idea that we will never get another note or fire call from you again is very hurtful. It hurts all the time. I'm grieving for you Sirius and sometimes it feels like I hardly knew you, and that just makes it all hurt more. It's not the way things are meant to be. Even if I thought you're stay in prison meant you never really grew up, doesn't mean you didn't deserve to live. **

**You're life has been snatched from you twice now and both times it hurts Harry more than people really know. He needs to talk about it but he wont and I can't understand why! Unfortunately he has dealt with death before so he must realise that bottling everything up inside won't help him! I want to help him more than anything, because I know you would want him to go on, but I can't if he refuses to help himself!**

**Death makes you think Sirius. I never really faced it before, not a person I know, not someone who was in the prime of their life, not someone who wasn't ready to go. It makes me think about the world I was dragged into when I turned eleven years old. Where was the advice and guidance that I needed? I still find things in homes, shops, streets and even at Hogwarts that confuse me because I am Muggleborn and what seems natural to a pureblood, to the point they don't bother explaining it in a book, boggles me!**

**Our world is polluted. I think I always knew that but your passing made it so much clearer. It's polluted with prejudice and hatred. It's polluted by people from old pureblood families that think they know better but are twisted by years of incest to the point where logic alludes them and they can't see magic will die out if people don't mix with other 'blood groups'. It makes me wonder why you are not like that? Why you were able to break away from one of the ,most deluded families of all. I have read all about your family and the things they have done. Seems to me you were meant to be different, meant to be on our side, to show people you didn't have to be that way. Yet now you are dead, thought a murderer and the very thing you never wanted to be. It's wrong, like so many things in this world, it's wrong. You deserve better.**

**My magic works just like everyone else's. My grades are in fact, better than a lot of purebloods in my year but yet I am considered unworthy and incapable of dealing with magic. The government is riddled with purebloods or half bloods who hate to admit what they are. Muggleborns struggle through life in this world and many end up leaving this world all together, hiding who they are and trying to forget it happened until their child gets their letter. They become a list of statistics and it astounds me that people can think that is ok. Would they rather we were untrained and hurt people, possibly exposing what they see as 'their' world in the process? I hope it is not always this way, because I don't know if it's worth it if it is.**

**This whole war is a swirling pot of irony. A war fought by death eaters to rid the world of muggleborns, yet in this second round of conflict, a pureblood of one of the oldest and most respected pureblood families, if one of the first to die. It hardly seems right, though I would like to think, that that sort of twisted humour would amuse you. Things like that always seemed to cause a rare smile when you were with us. **

**Everything is escalating now Sirius. I can feel it. I would like to think that you are watching us, guiding us, though I don't know if I believe that's at all possible. People are disappearing now. It's more obvious than before and Fudge has been removed as Minister. An ex-Auror takes his place and I hope this means we can move forward and make your death mean something. They saw the Dark Lord that night, in what's left of his flesh. I can only hope this means they will actively try to fight against him now. To save people while they still live to be saved. **

**I only hope it all ends swiftly like some sort of twisted blitzkrieg. You were killed by Bella, your own cousin. The Dark Lord has polluted this world to the point where family strikes family down as if they are strangers. I wasn't there, but surely that says enough. **

**We want to win this war Sirius. We want to win for everyone who isn't here to fight for the future themselves. For you, Mr and Mrs Potter, Bertha, Cedric, the Longbottoms, the Prewitt brothers and everyone else who has fallen to the Dark Lord and his terror. It doesn't even matter anymore that the Longbottoms are alive, because the way they are now, well, you can hardly call that living. **

**That might seem like a horrible thing to say but Sirius when I joined this world, I never thought I would be a solider in a war to survive at 16 years old. I guess the pollution of the wizarding world is starting to taint me too. Maybe that is why I have to stop it, before it consumes me and I'm just another Muggleborn statistic.**

**Sincerely and with love,**

**Hermione Granger**

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**Comments are love. I'd love to hear what you think before the last letter**


	10. Dear Luna

Disclaimer: I own nothing and make no profit from this. This is fiction.

This was, as I have said, a challenge from live journal to write 10 letters with various prompts. This is the end of this series, and this letter is based on the prompt 'regret'.

Thank you to the people who put this series on alert and to anyone who took the time to read it. I would, as ever, love to hear your thoughts.

4th November 1998

Dear Luna

I know you are at Hogwarts, this letter will arrive when you are sitting just a few metres away tomorrow morning, but you will have to forgive me, because I can't find the courage to say this to your face.

It's November now. Months since the final battle of Hogwarts and the fall of the Dark Lord and we are settling, or at least trying to settle back into school life. Yet I can't. I can't because there is something I want to so, something I need to do.

I want to apologise. I want to apologise for everything that happened to you this last year. You have been through things that no person should have to face and though you made it through, I'm still overwhelmed with guilt. Harry, Ron and myself. We were pre-occupied with our mission and escaping that we didn't stop to think about our friends and how they too, may be in danger.

We realise now that your father's business and your connections to us, put you in danger. I dread to think what you must have endured at Malfoy Manor and though I'm so very glad that we were able to get you out, I just wish we could of protected you in the first place so that you would never have needed rescuing at all. I wish we could of found you sooner. I'm sorry. So very sorry Luna and I hope that one day, you will forgive us for our failings, so that we may forgive ourselves.

You once told Harry that being part of the DA was like having friends. I'm sorry that having friends led you to danger you might not have otherwise faced but Luna, you do have friends! I know that I maybe haven't been the best of friends and that I haven't always understood you or had as much time for you as I should but that doesn't mean I don't care about you. You are very important to us. You were there at the Ministry, you were one of two that answered the summons during the first battle of Hogwarts!

Luna, you are our friend, we rely on you and care about you and hate the idea that you suffered when you were imprisoned. I hope that one day you can talk to us about what happened and perhaps Harry, Ron and I can explain what we faced to you, so that we can move on and enjoy the future we fought for.

Yet, even now, back at Hogwarts, everything is different now. I know you can see it too. The new bricks in walls that fell, not quite as dirty and worn as the ones behind them, new doors on old hinges, more prefects on duty and then of course, there are the students that are missing. Students that are too scared to come back, and then, the students that cant. Magic can't hide these things.

Does it feel almost haunted to you?

I almost can't stand it. It almost makes me want to leave. This is supposed to be a school, but all I can see is the death and destruction and everything we lost here. I'm just so grateful we survived it all and were not hurt too much. That's not really the point here though, I want to say sorry. Sorry for not being the friend I should have been, in everyway.

Sincerely, your friend,

Hermione


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